WTVD is our sister station, a great job on the visuals of the spot!
I agree with Evil above. Great looking spot, a well done to the producer in that aspect. But the copy was lacking something. As a viewer, I need to know how this is going to affect me, what do I get out of it by watching this special report?
I'm not at all bothered by the lack of viewer benefit. I think you crafted a spot very well fitting a story that doesn't have a "you" factor. The "I care" part is the intriguing mystery, which the spot completely sold me on. I was slightly thrown off by the tattoo imagery. It was beautiful, but left me confused if this was a story about pictures or tattoos at first viewing. And I do agree with the above coment on the "email" verbiage. That just felt a bit weak - but everything else was solid. Overall, very nice job! I would watch.
I would agree, I'm missing the hook. I feel like I'm getting it UNTIL you get to the email. The tradition targeting women just throws me after I've heard about people being humiliated and embarrassed. Sounds like you're trying to tell me it's happening over and over, which deepens the need for the story, but the "we have an email saying" just doesn't do it. Who sent the email? Victims? The men behind the tradition? Officials?
I feel like I should hear something like this:
And victims say it's been happening for years.
Or
The men responsible say it's just a tradition.
Or
Military officials say it's a tradition targeting young women and they're taking action.
Without some attribution, the fact there's this random email doesn't mean much.
4 comments:
Nice looking, attention grabbing visuals, but I don't see the sell. How does it affect me? I'm not a young woman, so why should I care?
"we have an email..." it isn't sellable unless it contains secrets or useful information to average viewers. That message didn't come across.
WTVD is our sister station, a great job on the visuals of the spot!
I agree with Evil above. Great looking spot, a well done to the producer in that aspect. But the copy was lacking something. As a viewer, I need to know how this is going to affect me, what do I get out of it by watching this special report?
I'm not at all bothered by the lack of viewer benefit. I think you crafted a spot very well fitting a story that doesn't have a "you" factor. The "I care" part is the intriguing mystery, which the spot completely sold me on.
I was slightly thrown off by the tattoo imagery. It was beautiful, but left me confused if this was a story about pictures or tattoos at first viewing. And I do agree with the above coment on the "email" verbiage. That just felt a bit weak - but everything else was solid. Overall, very nice job! I would watch.
Commenting as a reporter here:
I would agree, I'm missing the hook. I feel like I'm getting it UNTIL you get to the email. The tradition targeting women just throws me after I've heard about people being humiliated and embarrassed. Sounds like you're trying to tell me it's happening over and over, which deepens the need for the story, but the "we have an email saying" just doesn't do it. Who sent the email? Victims? The men behind the tradition? Officials?
I feel like I should hear something like this:
And victims say it's been happening for years.
Or
The men responsible say it's just a tradition.
Or
Military officials say it's a tradition targeting young women and they're taking action.
Without some attribution, the fact there's this random email doesn't mean much.
Just my $0.02.
Post a Comment